I have had 4 boyfriend’s thus far into my life. One for each year of high school actually lmao. Freshman year I dated an asshole that cheated on me and I didn’t even know that until 3 months after I broke up with him. Sophomore year I dated an introverted, nerdy, shy guy and I ended up breaking his heart. I had to break up with him 3 times before he finally got the hint that I was serious about just being friends. And I still feel bad for it.. Junior year I dated a player. I knew he was a player but he treated me different, he respected me and my boundaries and I was his princess. But then he broke up with me out of the blue and (again) 6 month later I find out he cheated on me THREE times. This year, senior year (technically summer of senior year), I dated one of my best friends. I thought I was falling hard and I gave him everything. My secrets, my happiness.. not sex but I let him go farther than any of the other boys. But when I wouldn’t give him a blow job he ended it and we “decided to stay friends.” And we are friends and it’s not awkward when we are together but when I’m at home I see and hear everything, every rumor. He was talking to a new girl last week and now he’s talking to his other slut to ex’s. And I’m so frustrated. And to make matters worse, I just got two snapchats from the junior year boyfriend who will never leave me alone. I’m dreading to open them. I want nothing to do with any of them but I can’t get away. All I want is to have someone by my side that makes me happy and won’t hurt me and take me for granted like all the others have. And I’m trying to be happy with single and I am but at the same time I need a distraction from everything. And I can’t find one.